Friday, October 24, 2008
Two years ago
Two years ago today, my dad passed away after a long fight with pulmonary fibrosis. I miss him every single day and every single day I wish he would've met Adam. Wow, would he have loved him... his looks, personality, intelligence, etc. What joy Adam would've brought to him and him to Adam. It is truly an injustice and tragedy that I could not have them both in my life at the same time (Adam was born at the same hospital that my dad passed away in exactly 5 months & 4 days later). Yet, as my mom says, she feels that my dad left to make room for Adam. That Adam is the gift that my dad left. In a way, I believe this. Especially since Adam is so incredibly amazing. I know I'm his mom, but he really is. My dad had something to do with this, I know. Also, I seriously can't imagine my dad and Adam in the "same scene" if this makes any sense. It's interesting... people say that once you have a child, it's hard to remember life before the baby was born. For me, this couldn't be further than the truth. I am now living a new life than I had before: Live without Dad/Life with Adam. That was the way it was meant to be. In a strange way, it feels right. And yet it is truly heartbreaking that I... that all of us... couldn't have them both at the same time.