I am still learning how to be a Mama. Some days are really tough (such as yesterday -- non-stop tantrums) and other days just flow. I'm learning to pay attention to Adam's needs. He yearns for & craves independence (aka "Adam Do It") -- he likes to be in control. He also likes to feel respected, much like an adult does. For example, if you just take a toy from him, he'll scream. However, if you tell him to put it somewhere, he'll usually do so without a fuss. Adam loves the simple things.... going with Daddy (he's saying Daddy or DeeDee more often, instead of just Dada) to get the mail, watching Mama cook (I'm still Mama or MeeMee, not Mommy, most of the time), helping Mama vacuum, etc. He also loves going to his Mommy & Me classes... Gymboree especially. If I pay attention to his needs (especially when he's hungry, tired, thirsty aka temper-tantrum prone), he behaves beautifully (usually). It's just a non-stop learning process.
Adam certainly did NOT get his love for vacuuming from me!
I love being with Adam. He is the funniest person I've ever met. And he doesn't even try to be. :o) I enjoy him oh so much. However, I'm finding myself missing him as a baby, if that makes sense. Those sweet, tender moments when he was just a little guy. I see newborn clothes and I want to buy them... especially the clothes at Gymboree and Nordstrom's. I wish I could do it again. With him. Knowing what I know now. I spent way too much time worrying when he was a newborn/infant (okay, I still worry too much now... but I have come a long way. Really.) Fortunately, though, I can say that I did enjoy him as an infant, I always have adored him. It would have been impossible not to. Time marches on so fast (the most-true cliche, isn't it?!?). Some days (especially mornings) can go by so sloooowly but the weeks and months just keep marching on. I'm still in shock that it's May! I am trying to savor the moments more, to be more patient, to be calmer and more gentle. To take it all in.
Speaking of sweet moments...
Tonight I read Adam a new book that he received for his birthday, "Bear Snores On". He loved it. So much so, apparently, that he crawled up into my lap and gave me a huge hug after I read the book. It was like he was so happy and appreciative that I read him that book. After that we played in his room for a bit -- he loves playing with his cash registar (another b-day gift) and puzzles. At one point, I left his room and he ran to close his door yelling "Bye Bye Mama! See you later!" and was giggling up a storm when I ran back in (before he could lock the door). It was so cute. He also loves his daddy and loves to cuddle with him and hear stories about Daddy's dogs (from his childhood), Patches & Louie. Adam especially loves the parts where Patches run aways and Louie pees and poos on the carpet! He's such a boy!
Adams usually gets sleepy when the 3 of us lie on the floor together. We sing our songs and tell him stories. Usually within a few minutes, he's ready to go to his crib (or "Go to sleep" as he says). He goes straight to his corner, grabs a few (or all) of his doggies and sticks his tush up in the air. And, every night, when I tuck him in, he says "Bye Bye Mama... So Much" (which means "I love you so much"). And then I say "I love you soooo much because you're..." and he replies "Mama's Love".
Ahh... these are the moments that I treasure with my Little Love.